It's
actually pretty crazy how we can in one moment magically feel worse
about ourselves simply by noticing someone "better than" us in some way -
they have a tiny waist, chicklet white teeth, a better career, better
house, whatever. Personally, I am painfully more aware of (and
sometimes embarrassed by) my body when in the room with other women that
are slimmer. If I'm at work I'll slip my laptop off the conference
room table onto my lap so it hides me better. It's worse if
there are also men present (which there always are because I'm in IT) - because if I'm comparing, aren't they?
Honestly. I get so exasperated with myself sometimes. There is nothing about me that changes in those moments except that I give that critical voice power - the voice that says that's what you should look like. Or if I feel I should have known the answer to a question at work and someone else did, why are you so stupid? They all ultimately lead to the same thought - what's wrong with me? When what's wrong with me is that I even ask that question.
It's worth noting the other side of that coin - thinking that we're better than someone by comparison steals as much joy as the opposite. That kind of ungenerous thinking steals a little bit of our soul's light, and I hate to admit it but I've been guilty of that too. It's so easy when you feel less than in some way to look for other ways to feel better. But there are better ways than saying, well at least I'm cuter than her.
Honestly. I get so exasperated with myself sometimes. There is nothing about me that changes in those moments except that I give that critical voice power - the voice that says that's what you should look like. Or if I feel I should have known the answer to a question at work and someone else did, why are you so stupid? They all ultimately lead to the same thought - what's wrong with me? When what's wrong with me is that I even ask that question.
It's worth noting the other side of that coin - thinking that we're better than someone by comparison steals as much joy as the opposite. That kind of ungenerous thinking steals a little bit of our soul's light, and I hate to admit it but I've been guilty of that too. It's so easy when you feel less than in some way to look for other ways to feel better. But there are better ways than saying, well at least I'm cuter than her.
Besides, how boring would the world be if we were all the same? Let's enjoy and appreciate the diversity, strengths, and beauty of others and leave it at that - with no additional internal commentary about how we don't measure up. Or how we do.
In the language of flowers, Cranesbill Geranium means Envy.
Photo credit: aussiegall via Wikimedia Commons
Photo credit: aussiegall via Wikimedia Commons
No comments:
Post a Comment
Discussion is so very welcome - please feel free to share your own thoughts, ideas and experiences. That said, trolls beware - any ungenerous, mean-spirited, or otherwise not nice comments will be deleted.